Compromise

Star Trek Winter Gift Exchange 2025

Jim wakes up from yet another near-death experience.

Fandom(s): Star Trek AOS
Character(s): Jim Kirk, Spock
Tags: Spirk, Near Death Experiences

Rating: General Audiences
Content Warnings: N/A
Word Count: 660
Type: Oneshot, Standalone

Notes: Written for startrekwintergiftexchange for neil-armsloth

Spock sat by Jim's bedside, watching him. He had yet to wake up from a life saving surgery that took place after getting ripped to shreds by alien fauna on a survey world. Spock thought he could get used to it— all these near misses. But the truth was that ever since Jim had died for real and McCoy had dragged his screaming soul back into the land of the living, the near misses had been taking a toll on Spock. A cumulative sort of toll.

This was Jim's fifteenth near-death experience post-resurrection, and each time Spock felt increasingly more anxious while left pacing outside sickbay, waiting for the news that Jim had been stabilized.

"Hey."

Spock looked up from where he was staring at his hands to see that Jim was awake. He looked ashen and tired, but he was alive, and on the road to recovery. Spock sat up in his chair.

"Welcome back, Jim," he said.

"Thanks," Jim said. "How bad was it this time?"

"Bad," Spock said neutrally.

"Oh." Jim looked around the room, as if there was something to see besides plain white walls. "Have you been here a long time?"

"Five hours."

"You know, you don't have to sit and wait for me to wake up every time this happens," Jim said. "I know you have better things to do with your time."

"Perhaps you should stop getting into these situations, then."

Jim frowned. Spock seemed colder than usual, and he was avoiding meeting his eye. Strange. "Are you mad at me?" Jim asked.

Spock sighed. It was an uncharacteristically human gesture. "I'm not angry with you," Spock said, trying to take some of the bite out of his voice. "But I am angry that you're getting yourself into these situations so often."

Jim grimaced. "Sorry," he said. "I know you're worried. But I can't really help that I'm a danger magnet."

"You could stay on the ship," Spock said sternly. "As Captain, you shouldn't even be going on these dangerous away missions. You have a responsibility to your crew to be in command, which you cannot do if you are dead or otherwise incapacitated." Spock's voice grew angrier as he spoke.

"I know, I know," Jim said. "But you know I hate being stuck on the bridge all the time. And besides, this last one wasn't supposed to be dangerous, it was a survey mission."

"Your willingness to put your life at risk simply because you are bored frustrates me to no end," Spock said.

"Spock—"

"You died once and got lucky," Spock said. "You have almost died an additional fifteen times since, and you have gotten lucky. One of these days your luck will run out. I— It was hard enough losing you temporarily. I do not wish to lose you permanently."

Jim realized then that Spock wasn't angry. He was tired, and scared. "My incidents have been getting to you, haven't they?" He asked softly.

Spock didn't speak or meet his eyes, but he nodded.

"I'm sorry," Jim said.

"Every time, I get more an more worried that you won't make it," Spock said.

"I didn't realize," Jim admitted. "I didn't know how upset this made you. I'm sorry, Spock."

Spock didn't say anything. Jim noticed how exhausted he looked. He had bags under his eyes.

"Okay," Jim said with an air of finality.

Spock looked at him questioningly. "Okay, what?"

"I'll stop going on away missions," Jim said. "Except for the ones where I'm absolutely needed. I'll stay on the bridge from now on."

Spock met his eyes for the first time. His gaze was skeptical.

"I promise," Jim insisted. He reached a hand out towards Spock. "I'll do my best to give you peace of mind. Even if that means being bored on the ship while other people get to go check out cool planets. Okay?"

Spock shook his head slightly and took Jim's hand in his own. "Okay."

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