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spacedogfromspaceThe Doctor, the Hag, and the AU, or, Bones and the Hallmark Christmas Movie Curse
Chapter 5: Flower Power
Bones buys some flowers and writes the worst apology letter known to mankind.
Bones followed the truck as best as he could on foot. If he was lucky, Jim would take Spock for coffee as an apology for driving his truck into him, and the timeline would be fixed well enough that Bones wouldn’t have to do much else. Hell, it would even be a win if Jim was giving Spock a lift to the hospital, that would probably achieve the same result. However, it quickly became clear that Jim was just giving Spock a ride back to the motel.
Great, Bones thought as he dashed back to the motel, taking shortcuts to try to beat them there. He had hoped that would have been more effective. Now he would have to improvise… again. He probably shouldn’t involve a vehicle this time.
He made it back to his motel room and closed the door just before Jim’s truck came into view. Bones crouched by the window, watching through a gap in the blinds. He kept the lights off so that he was virtually invisible to anyone who glanced at his window. As a last second thought as the truck pulled up to a stop in front of the motel, he shoved the window open a crack so he could hear anything they said.
The passenger’s side door - furthest from Bones - opened, and Spock stepped out. There was a definitive thunk as he shut the door, and as Spock walked through the beam of the headlights Bones was relieved to see that he didn’t appear to be injured.
Jim rolled his window down and asked, “are you sure you’re okay?”
Spock stopped, pivoting so he could nod back. “I am fine, thank you.”
“Because I can take you to the hospital,” Jim said, sounding unsure. “It’s not far, it wouldn’t be a problem at all.”
“I assure you, I am uninjured,” Spock told him. “Thank you for driving me here.”
“No problem. Sorry I hit you with my truck,” Jim grimaced, scrubbing a hand across the back of his neck.
Spock shook his head. “Apologies are unnecessary. There is nothing you could have done to prevent the collision, as I have explained to you four times already.”
“Right, I… sorry… I mean,” Jim stuttered, trying to figure out what he was trying to say. “Uh… well, I’ll see you around then?” He asked awkwardly.
“It is likely.” Spock responded. “Due to the size of this town I calculate that there is a fifty-seven percent chance that we will encounter each other again.”
“Cool. Yeah, uh…”
For fuck’s sake, Bones groaned inwardly, putting his face in his hands in second hand embarrassment of Jim’s utter lack of charisma in this moment.
Thankfully, Spock came to Jim’s rescue and put all three of them out of their misery. “I have taken enough of your time,” he said, which seemed to be his signature exit phrase. He turned towards the motel. “Goodbye.”
“Right,” Jim said. “Bye.” Bones saw Jim shake his head at himself before rolling up the window and driving away, the sound of crunching gravel and snow fading into the distance with him.
Bones let out a long breath. “This isn’t going to be easy, is it?” He said quietly to himself. He sat down at the table, wondering what he could do next to push these two idiots towards each other. There was a sparse local newspaper on the table, and he flipped through it idly, stopping when an ad caught his eye, and suddenly he had an idea.
There was a delicate chime as Bones opened the door to the small storefront. He was immediately overwhelmed with the strongest floral scents he had ever encountered, and mentally crossed his fingers that he wasn’t allergic to anything in here.
The small room was full of floral displays. The entire window display showed off pots and pots of poinsettias, but there were other small conventional arrangements on display on the front counter and on the shelves that lined the walls. He looked around for a moment before the proprietor made an appearance from the back room. Bones really shouldn’t be surprised anymore, because of course Sulu would be the flower shop guy in this godforsaken universe.
“Hello,” Sulu greeted him. “What can I do for you this morning?”
“Hi,” Bones said awkwardly, trying to pretend like he didn’t know the guy. It was harder than he would have thought. “I’m wondering if I could get some flowers,” he said dumbly.
Sulu raised an eyebrow at him. “I mean, yeah. That’s kind of my whole thing, here.”
“Right,” Bones said. “Sorry. It’s too early in the morning.”
Sulu chuckled. “Don’t worry. Happens all the time.”
“I just need something simple that I’d be able to get right away,” Bones said. “A bouquet or whatever. Doesn’t need to be fancy.”
“Ah. Emergency flowers?” Sulu asked.
“What?”
“You know,” Sulu said with a wry smile. “You do something stupid so you buy some nice flowers for your wife so when she finds out she isn’t quite so mad?” When Bones just blinked at him he added, “Not that I have experience with that, but it's what most guys are aiming for when they come in here looking for flowers on the double.”
“Uh, no,” Bones said. “Not emergency flowers.”
“Fair enough,” Sulu said. “Well, there aren’t a lot of options on rush orders, but I’ll see what I can do. What do you want it to say?”
“What do you mean?” Bones asked.
“Flower language, you know?” Sulu replied. Bones did not know, and it must have shown on his face because Sulu went on to explain. “Different flowers are used to convey different meanings.”
“Right…” Bones said, nodding. “Are there flowers for saying ‘sorry I hit you with my truck?’” he asked.
Sulu seemed taken slightly aback. “Did you… hit someone with a truck?” He asked hesitantly.
“No,” Bones said. Not today, at least. “I was just curious if the flowers were that specific. I do need apology flowers, though.”
“Hmm, let's see what I have on hand. Wait here. I’m sure I’ve got something that’ll do.” Sulu said, eyes already glazed over with thought. He rushed into the backroom, out of sight. Bones waited at the counter, checking the time and hoping Spock wouldn’t be leaving the motel for a while yet.
Before long, Sulu reappeared with a modest but elegant cluster of flowers. “Well, I did my best. White tulips for an apology, daisies for innocence, and I was hoping I still had some gladiolis for sincerity, but I’m out, so I used lilacs for some colour.”
“Perfect,” Bones said, which is what he would have said to any arrangement Sulu had come up with. He didn’t particularly care about flower language, or think that it mattered, but he wasn’t about to tell Sulu that. That guy could use a sword and Bones didn’t want to end up on the wrong end of it.
Sulu rang him up, and Bones headed back to the motel with the flowers. He glanced up at Spock’s window as he approached the building, and saw that the blinds were drawn, but he could tell that the lights were on. Good, Bones thought. He’s still here. He stepped into his own room briefly to write a note on the card that had been provided with the flowers. He wrote:
Sorry I hit you with my truck. - Jim Kirk
“Good enough,” Bones said. He was no poet and he knew it, but this would have to do. He walked up to Spock’s door, doing his best to keep the stairs from creaking, and placed them on the doorstep. He knocked on the door with the intention to run and hide, but he realized too late that the stairs would slow him down too much. He could hear Spock approaching the door, and knowing that he only had seconds to conceal himself, he vaulted over the railing and fell very ungracefully into the bushes below.
The door opened, and Bones would have held his breath if it hadn’t already been knocked out of him. Through the tiny spaces between the boards of the steps, he could vaguely see Spock bend down and pick up the flowers, pausing for a moment to presumably read the note before going back inside. The moment the door shut Bones rolled out of the bushes gasping for air as his lungs finally allowed him to inhale again. After taking stock of himself, he found that nothing was broken, but he knew he would be sore as all hell from the fall. I sure hope this was worth it.
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